OK YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A BAD PERSON HAHA I will think of something and finish the fic, but this time FOR REAL ;)
hahaahah you guys always do the same. I write one chapter fics and you want more hahaaha I like open endings, you decide what happens!
Thank you! I know, this makes me saaaad :(
What new fic? The Dope one is coming soon and the Let Love Down one is over! :) Feel free to send me prompts
Aww don’t cry baby! Thank you so much, means a lot ^^
No! Steph and I have both moved for uni and writing is so hard! But now that we are both settled we can write again :)
Tara was in the bedroom of the new apartment she had rented. One more week had passed since she had left Gaga and she wasn’t feeling any better. She, in fact, felt guilty for leaving her just like that. No explanation, no nothing, just a goodbye. She needed to talk to her, but how? She knew nothing about her and she was sure that she wouldn’t pick up the phone if she called. But what else could she do? Guilt was killing her insides. She felt like trash for treating Gaga that way. Her feelings towards Gaga weren’t as strong as Gaga’s towards her, but she still loved her more than she had ever loved anyone, Tara was sure of that. She had been her best friend for years and she couldn’t fuck that up, at least not without some answers for Gaga. Tara was sure that she would hate her forever, and there was nothing she could do about it, but she had to try. Tara took her phone and looked through her contacts. She sadly smiled at the name ‘Baby’ and phoned her. She looked down with her phone on her ear, afraid that Gaga didn’t want to know anything else about her.
Gaga was sitting on an armchair of her apartment, with a book on her thighs and the window open so the fresh air of that day would softly caress her skin. She was trying to focus on what she was reading, but she always ended up reading the same page all over again, incapable of understanding the words of the book. Her mind was somewhere else. In all the time that had passed she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Tara. She was the only person she cared about. Still. Her mind started wondering once again why she had left. ‘What did I do? Was I moving too fast? She is my best friend. She… Was. We were used to eachother’s company, to eachother’s presence everywhere, we were even used to eachother’s touch. At least I was. What the hell happened?’ A loud sob brought Gaga back to earth, and she quickly wiped her tears away, realizing she was crying. She took her phone. Nothing, not a single message or call from ‘TarTar’. She had thought of calling her many times in those two weeks, but she didn’t want to annoy her, she was the one who left, clearly Gaga had done something wrong. When she was about to put her phone away, it started ringing. She looked at the name without believing her eyes. Tara was calling.
Tara heard Gaga picking up and her eyes widened. The girls didn’t say anything for some minutes, Gaga because she was so shocked that Tara had decided to phone her and Tara because she was so sure that Gaga wouldn’t pick up that she hadn’t prepared anything to say. After one more minute that felt like an eternity, Tara decided to talk.
‘Stef… Hi.’ Tara listened carefully and the only thing she heard was a tiny sob. ‘Listen, I am really sorry for leaving that way. I… I need to talk to you. Please.’ Gaga didn’t say anything for some seconds and then replied, almost whispering.
‘Come home tomorrow afternoon.’ The fact that she said home broke Tara’s heart. It was their home, it really was, or at least it had been until then.
‘Thank y-‘ Gaga hung up without letting Tara finish. She couldn’t take it anymore. She was finally going to see her and she had no idea of what she was going to say to her. Even worse, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to hear what Tara had to say to her.
The following day arrived quickly, and before she knew, Gaga was wandering up and down the living room of her apartment waiting for Tara. She had spent almost one hour deciding what to wear and what make-up to use. She didn’t want to impress Tara, she just wanted to look good and not like the crying mess that she was.
Tara finished getting ready and looked at herself in the mirror. She was nervous, she really was. It was unbelievable that after years of friendship she got nervous because she was going to meet Gaga. ‘I can’t believe what a break-up can do… I feel like throwing up, really. Not even the day I auditioned for my job I was this nervous.’
After an hour or so, Gaga heard the bell ringing. She took a deep breath as she tried the tears that were forming in her eyes to go away. She opened the door and there she was. Tara. Seeing her after two whole weeks felt like a punch on the heart. It took her a lot of effort not to jump on Tara’s arms and held her tight.
Tara looked at Gaga. She wasn’t looking too devastated, but she noticed all the make-up she was wearing, so she couldn’t really trust Gaga’s appearance. She stepped inside Gaga’s apartment and looked at Gaga.
‘Hi.’ Gaga replied with an almost inaudible voice. Tara wanted to give her a hug but she deeply knew that she couldn’t do that. ‘Sit down.’ Gaga pointed the couch and they both sat down. After an awkward silence, Tara decided to speak.
‘Why did you leave? What did I do?’ Gaga looked at Tara’s eyes and Tara looked back at hers, feeling pain in the singer’s hazel eyes.
‘I… You did nothing. It’s all my fault. I…’ Tara didn’t know how to explain.
‘Just tell me, ok?’ Gaga didn’t want to sound that cold, but she couldn’t help herself.
‘I… Shouldn’t have dated you. I…’ Tara felt a tear running down her cheek. ‘I was never in love. I… I agreed to date you because I didn’t want to reject your love.’
‘So… You never ever loved me back?’ Gaga had her cheeks red from the embarrassment and wet from the tears.
‘I loved you as a friend. I still love you as a friend. My best friend.’
‘I have been rejected before. Did you really think I couldn’t take it? I feel stupid now. Gosh, don’t you understand? I love you so much it physically hurts. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left. I am devastated, I…’ A sob made Gaga stop talking for some seconds. ‘I hate you so much. I hate you!’
‘Stef, I am sorry.’ Tara was crying too, she felt like a horrible person.
‘You have been playing all this time, you used me, for what? For fun?’
‘I didn’t use you! I… I wanted to make you happy, you are all that matters to me.’
‘Stop it. I got it. I don’t wanna see you ever again. I gave you all my love, I gave you all and you just… Whatever. This is a goodbye.’
‘Do you really want that?’ Tara said.
‘You made wanna want this.’ They looked at eachother one last time before Tara stood up and left.
When Gaga was alone she somehow completely realized what had just happened. She was never gonna see Tara ever again. Her beautiful friend. She would have to hire another make-up artist too. ‘What have I done?’
Tara closed Gaga’s apartment door behind her and broke down crying, running to the elevator. She fucked everything up. ‘Stupid! Stupid! You lost your best friend. You are never gonna see her again. She hates you!’ Tara wished she could go back in time. It was going to take her a lot to forget Gaga, maybe a lifetime. ‘I am not sure I can handle this…
(Hi! Here you have the second part, like you asked! I really wanna finish this small fanfic now, so feel free to send me prompts! I miss you guys! xoxo)
Ok I can do a second one :)
Thanks so much! Just one shot :)
- GAGA’S POV -
“We need to talk.” Gaga looked at Tara and froze. Those words could only mean the worst. Gaga felt tears filling her eyes, she deeply knew that that moment had to arrive, Tara had been acting in a really strange way for the past weeks, she wouldn’t answer to Gaga’s ‘I love you’s or react to her touch. Gaga had been trying to make Tara feel good, trying to guess what was wrong with her, but it seemed impossible. They sat on the bed of their bedroom and Tara sighed, not wanting to look at Gaga.
"Just tell me, Tara."
"I… I can’t be with you anymore." Tara’s words pierced Gaga’s heart. "It’s not you, it’s me… I just can’t do it."
"But why?" Gaga asked, and her voice cracked, her worst nightmare was coming true.
"I don’t know… I think it’s better if I leave. I am sorry." Gaga couldn’t look at Tara. She couldn’t stay there and watch her girlfriend leave. Tara looked at Gaga one last time and left, but Gaga didn’t move, the pain she was feeling inside was too big.
That happened the week before, but all that time hadn’t been enough for Gaga to forget, or feel any better. She was laying in bed, looking at the ceiling with that numb expression that wouldn’t go away. She thought of Tara as tears streamed down her face. She had cried so much that her eyes hurt, she was surprised that she still had tears left to cry. All that she could think of was Tara’s promises, all the ‘Forever and always’s, the feeling of Tara’s lips on hers, the smell of love and lust everytime they made love. Gaga closed her eyes and wondered what she had done wrong. It had taken her a lot of courage to tell her best friend her feelings towards her. The happiness that she had felt when Tara said that she loved her back was as big as the emptiness she was feeling right now. It was risky to date her best friend, but they were in love, weren’t they? Gaga couldn’t help but to feel guilty, she always managed to fuck relationships up. Gaga felt like she let Tara down. she let love down.
- TARA’S POV -
Tara covered her face with her hands and rubbed her eyes, trying her thoughts to go away. It had been a week without hearing anything from Gaga, and it was driving her crazy. But she wanted that, didn’t she? She did, but she wasn’t feeling any better. The thought of Gaga suffering because of her was too much to handle. Tara kicked the floor, it was all her fault. Why the hell did she agree to date Gaga if she didn’t love her that way? Not that Gaga didn’t make her feel good, she loved her tight hugs and her pecks, how she treated her like a princess. Fuck, she absolutely adored Gaga’s blueberry kisses down on her on those endless lustful nights. At first, Tara thought that it would be easy to fall in love with Gaga, I mean, she was her best friend, how much could their relationship change? It was all good, but as days passed by Tara started feeling stressed, she needed space. In fact, she needed her best friend back. Gaga was deeply in love with her, telling her that she was her girl until the end, planning their future. Tara knew it wasn’t right. She needed to break up with her, she couldn’t let Gaga believe her lies.
She thought that she would feel better after their break up, but she was wrong. She lost her girlfriend, but also her best friend, and she needed her. Tara cried at her stupidity. She let Gaga down, she let love down and it couldn’t be fixed.
(Here I am! It has been really long since I last posted, but I am moving next week for uni and I am so so busy! I will try to write more often now, so send me prompts! I will write them until we finish writing the next chapter of ‘Dope Needs Me More Than You Do.’
I would love you guys to send me songs (From Gaga or any other artist) and tell me Taga or Tayga and I will write a story related to the lyrics of the song! I miss you guys SO MUCH, please fill my ask box with your beautiful comments and ideas! Love you xoxo)